My last unsent letter to you.

You are tattooed all over. Yet I will never show you the tattoo you made on me. In me.

you make the air melt.

nothing unexpected about this. every single time you manage to turn me around. i'm such a sucker. and i know it. you take every fucking opportunity you get to try to kiss me. you're getting better and better at it. it used to be kinda aggressive, pushing me against the wall. but now, oh now you're becoming an expert. you just show up there, i turn around, you move just a bit closer, nothing pushy about it, it's sweet, it makes the air melt, i feel your breath, the sweetness of it, you don't touch me, no hands there, just lips, your mouth slightly open, you eyes slightly closed... i fall for it. every single time. i move towards you, stop, move back, move your way again, and then finally step back, using the last inch of rationality left.

good thing we have the alcohol to blame?

unexpected questions in my head

places we had coffees at
when your leg was resting on mine
they still make me pause when i pass them

split seconds when your scent is too overwhelming
it happens all over town
the confused look on my face when i realize youre not near me

a girl passes me on the street
i cant help but turn to look after her and smile
she has the exact same walk as you

i hold on to these
why cant i hold on to you?

make me stop.

i pull her towards me by her hair
(i still remember the smell of yours)

her lips enjoy exploring my neck
(it was always difficult to tear myself away)

my hands go lower to her hipbone
(how i loved to hear you sigh)

i can feel her fingers inside me
(remember the sound?)

her making me cum has become a constant
(every time i imagine its you)

a certain april afternoon

she's sitting on my right, her legs crossed
two cups of fresh coffee on table in front of us
enjoying the warmth of last april sun

she keeps correcting her hair behind her right ear
i took off her sunglasses, i love her green eyes too much
she shakes the teaspoon twice before resting it on plate
sometimes it feels she has a ritual in drinking her coffee

with the corner of my eye i keep stealing glances of her
world news isn't as interesting as her economy section
my look travels from her eyebrows to her ear
her skin catches sun really easy, i envy her
a shade drops where the collar of the shirt meets her neck

contrast in the view is inviting
i slide my finger down the collar to the first button
it's undone
she left it like that on purpose
she's a tease
and very good at it

i exhale a long breath
bite my lower lip
go lower to the second button
it's undone also
of course
almost touching the line of her bra
she looks at me and kills my fantasy

i miss that white shirt.

If you were a boy...

...you would still understand how it feels to love a girl, you would still be a better man, you would still listen to me, you still wouldn't take me for granted, you would love me, respect me, make me smile, you would still do all that you do now...

but...

...if you were a boy...

...i would not have to hide, i would not have to live a lie, 

   i would tell the world you got me and i got you..

...i would do all the cliché things that lovers do. from holding hands to putting my name on your kiss.

...i would not have to leave the room everytime you call.

...i would tell the world you're my girl and that i'm your girl.