so i held her.

"and later?"
she shook her head, as if to say "dont prolong this, you know i have to go."
so i stopped, i didnt tell her all i wanted to say.
all? i didnt say any of it.
ive never been that good with spoken words anyway.

so i held her.
listened to her breathing, caressed her hair,
memorized her skin, looked into her big blue-green-beautiful eyes.


"kiss?"
she shook her head.
looking straight at me, holding eye contact. waiting for a response.
i guess the only thing she could see on my face was surprise.
maybe shock, but thatd be exaggerated.
i may not know her well, but i know sometimes she does things without thinking.
i was hoping this was one of them.

so i held her.
watched her fingers slid carefully over my painted skin.
i wondered what she was thinking.


"kiss?!", i implored her bit later.
she shook her head. again.
this time i had to look away, i couldnt stand it.
i didnt want her to read me, they say i have the "you hurt me" look.

so i held her.

fucked if i know

you know, with a single line you could make me yours.
(arent i already?)

what would it mean?
thoughts and feelings commingling
the taste of me on your tongue
the scent of you under my fingernails.
(scared yet?)

theres more.
being broken, crying, joy and wild laughter,
blank stares, anger and punches throw into the air.
stupidity, boredom, passion and drama.

why do you take all things in stride?

yet, i... think youre cool.
(almost, already.)

I can't do it as I usually would. Not like I'd do it here. So I'll do it like this...

new photos required

today i looked at the photo album of my mind,
and photographs are getting kinda faded.

the touch of your hair on my face.
(why would you think id mind??)
your smell.
(i actually refused to wash my hands that day.)
you.
(somehow i can still taste you on the tip of my tongue.)

and then i think,
was it the same for you?
did you like it?
perhaps, enjoy it?
did you even relax enough to let me in?

i need to take new photos.

Santa Bandana (pt 2)

soon you showed you didnt plan on being only a stranger;
your hands on my face, your lips on mine,
your hips thrusting against my body.
apparently you were in a hurry.

i slow you down,
"we've got all nite, youre not going back to setúbal today!"
your first reaction was one of panic,
but was easily dismissed by a slow suck of your tongue.

i undo your bra, you undid mine.
i almost took off your shirt, i wanted to kiss your breasts.
you grab hold of my hand, reminding me we're in public.
"right.. ahem.. sorry"

i bury my head in that spot between your neck and shoulders,
you bite my earlobe and moan loudly, not caring for people passing by.
it turns me on even more than your hand between my legs.
i guess you understood immediately my thoughts,
why else would you then quietly whisper "please fuck me now"?

i pull you upwards and you wrap your legs around my body.
positioning yourself onto my hips and finding my lips,
i reluctantly let go off your hair
and put my arm underneath you to keep you from falling.

i undo your pants and slip in my hand.
with a disbelief in your eyes you look at me
when i take it back out and lick my finger.
"just to know how you taste like before you cum."

your eyes widen as i put my finger back in you
and you keep them open all the time, looking straight at me,
closing them only when i feel that familiar pressure on my fingers
and that warmth on my hand.

afterwards i remain standing still for what seems an eternity,
with your head lying heavy on my shoulder.
few hours later you left and didnt make that promised call.

going around in a circle

rachel wants to be my love in the morning,
and i want nothing more but to invite her in..

in the afternoon dmb is saying goodbye,
and my doubts and fears are waving back..

in the evening
i just miss you.

having feelings

why do you do that?
why you keep me hanging on?
its like youre giving me a smell of a bone, and then you take it away
before i could even get a taste.
better yet- you give me a taste of something and you watch me enjoy it.
and then, then when i am almost begging you for more, you take it away.
you confuse me.
that huge grin on your face..
i wish i knew what youre thinking then.
right at that moment.

i know, youre probably thinking to yourself that youre being more
honest than ever.
but being honest is not the same as speaking bloody english!
what the hell do you want me to do with "this song reminded me of you
even before"??
what does that mean?
yes, i need you to spell it out for me!
would that be so hard for you?
why?
its not like youd be going out on a limb, you already know how i feel.
you already know that i am falling for you, even if you are miles away.
even if it was less than 48 hours.

im not trying to act stupid, i really am not.
but there are certain things that i will not believe until you say them outloud,
until you scream them in my face with your vein on your forehead
sticking out cus it takes that much out of you!


and if that makes you need to say things or, god forbid, act human..
well, tough luck.
its called having feelings for someone.