She somehow stayed.

She somehow stayed.

I don't want anyone around me. It's just me. And myself and all that. And I'm enough to myself. Fuck, I can even be too much to myself.

She somehow stayed.

I admit, I never told her to leave. I guess I never wanted it. She came slowly, as this calm person, this "don't bug me and trust me, I shall not bug you" person. Then she smiled. Not at the beginning, a bit later. Now she smiles more. As if I was funnier now. She has her own life happening. A rather full one, I must say. As everyone else, I expected her to leave.

She somehow stayed.

Then, one day I smelled her hair. I shouldn't have, I was in no position to do that. I was to involved. She didn't notice it. She was talking about her sister. And she listened to me talk about my mother. It was perhaps the calmest moment in my life. The one when small talk becomes so big, when big words become so easy to spell, when blue eyes become so much more than a cliché. Then she explained how she was going to work somewhere out of the country.

She somehow stayed.

She wanted to kiss me one day. I only know it now. Maybe it's better that way. Otherwise it might've gone too fast. It wouldn't be fair to any of us. You know, she never seems confused. But she is. I know it, I just can't define it when it happens. She just doesn't look into my eyes. But she rarely does anyway. I wish she did it more often. It would calm me down. She has that effect and again, she doesn't even know it. So much she doesn't know. She doesn't need to touch me for me to be with her. I don't need her smell anymore, I know it way too well. She could leave anytime.

She somehow stayed.

And I never asked her to stay. She just did. And I would never ask her to stay. Despite my pride and ego and all, I doubt it would be smart for her to stay. Having so much in me, I cannot name one thing I could give her. So many times I almost asked her to leave.

She somehow stayed.

I hope she stays one moment more.